A Time to Pause and Be Kind to Your Self
Thanksgiving is right around the corner, and with it, so many messages that tell us it’s a time of gratitude, connection, and celebration. While all of that is true, there’s a side to this holiday that doesn’t get as much attention: for many people, Thanksgiving can be complicated. For some, it brings feelings of loneliness, stress, or even a sense of loss. And if that resonates with you, remember—you are not alone.
In our culture, the holiday season often brings a kind of “pressure of perfection.” We see images of happy gatherings, ideal meals, and perfect family moments. It’s easy to feel that pressure to create a flawless holiday experience. If you’re finding yourself overwhelmed by this, take a moment to Pause. Breathe. Allow. You don’t have to live up to an unrealistic ideal, and you don’t have to ignore the feelings that come up for you. Instead, allow your Self to feel and honor those emotions, knowing they’re part of your unique experience.
You Are Not Alone
Thanksgiving is a holiday that can bring people together, but it can also bring up feelings that make us feel more alone. There might be people missing from the table this year or memories that feel bittersweet. If you’re someone who struggles with the holiday season, please know that your feelings are valid. You’re not alone in feeling this way; many people have complex emotions around Thanksgiving.
Consider reaching out to someone you trust and sharing your feelings. This could be a friend, a family member, or even a support group. Talking about your experience can be so freeing, and it often helps to realize there are others who feel similarly. Sometimes, just knowing someone else understands can lift a weight off your shoulders.
Nothing is “Wrong” with You
Let’s address something important: there is nothing “wrong” with you if Thanksgiving doesn’t bring you joy. Society often labels certain emotions as “good” or “bad,” but in truth, all feelings are natural. If Thanksgiving stirs up difficult memories or triggers uncomfortable emotions, that’s simply your body and mind reacting to past experiences.
People come to Thanksgiving with a range of life stories, each one unique. Maybe this holiday is different because family dynamics have shifted, or perhaps it reminds you of something you’ve lost.
Whatever your story, honor it. Acknowledge how you feel, and let go of any judgment. By allowing your Self this understanding, you give others permission to do the same.
What You CAN Do
While Thanksgiving might not feel like the holiday for joyful celebration, you can still shape it into a day that brings you a sense of peace and grounding. It all begins with awareness: being in touch with your needs, emotions, and expectations. Acknowledge that taking care of your Self is just as important as any other part of this season.
Make a plan to prioritize Self care this Thanksgiving. Think about the activities that restore you, whether it’s spending time in nature, journaling, or curling up with a good book. Carve out time just for you, where you can pause and recharge. This doesn’t have to be something elaborate; even ten quiet minutes in the morning can make a big difference.
When it comes to Self care, remember that it’s okay to put your needs first. You don’t have to apologize for it, and you don’t need to fit into anyone else’s expectations of how the holiday “should” look. Whether it’s a warm bath, a favorite hobby, or even just a quiet moment to sit with your thoughts, let these moments ground you.
What You CAN Do Differently This Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving doesn’t have to follow a traditional script. If the usual plans feel overwhelming or stressful, consider giving your Self permission to approach it differently this year. Setting boundaries is a powerful tool for navigating the holiday season. It’s okay to say no to activities that feel emotionally draining or that simply don’t align with what you need right now.
If family gatherings feel overwhelming, think about what you can do to make them more manageable. Set clear boundaries with loved ones so they know your limits. Let them know if there are topics you’d rather avoid or if you need to step out for a quiet moment now and then. Communicating your needs helps those around you understand how to support you, and it can make Thanksgiving feel a lot more manageable.
And if you find that meeting your emotional needs is challenging, reaching out for professional support is always an option. Therapy or counseling can be particularly helpful during the holiday season, offering a safe space to explore your feelings. Online communities and support groups can also be a great resource. Knowing you’re connected with others who feel similarly can be incredibly comforting.
Gentle Reminder For This Thanksgiving
You’re allowed to experience Thanksgiving in a way that feels right for you. If that means gathering with loved ones, go ahead. If it means spending the day by your Self, that’s perfectly okay, too. This season, give your Self permission to experience Thanksgiving in whatever way brings you the most peace.
There’s no perfect way to “do” Thanksgiving. There’s only what feels true and supportive to you. So take a moment to pause, breathe, and allow and know that whatever you feel is absolutely okay. You’ve got this.