The Brain’s Need for Understanding
The human brain is a Meaning Machine, constantly working behind the scenes to make sense of everything that happens. It searches for connections, cause-and-effect patterns, and explanations. Always driving us to ask questions like, “Why did this happen?” or “Why do I feel this way?”. This instinct to find meaning is deeply ingrained—it’s part of what makes us human.
But the problem is that asking “Why” can sometimes send our minds spiraling. The search for “Why” can take us down rabbit holes, trapping us in loops of overthinking and Self criticism. In contrast, shifting the focus to “What” questions helps ground us in the present. Offering clarity and peace without getting tangled in the endless search for causes.
Why the Brain Seeks Meaning
Your brain loves meaning because it brings order to the chaos of life. Finding purpose in an event—whether good or challenging—gives the mind a sense of closure. Without meaning, thoughts feel unfinished, looping in the background like an open tab on a browser. Meaning brings that final click, closing the tab so your mind can move on and relax. This is why, when something doesn’t make sense, we feel unsettled. We are driven to keep thinking about it until it does.
When we understand the “reason” for something—whether it’s a difficult breakup, a lost opportunity, or even a joyful moment—it shifts how we experience it emotionally. This shift can bring peace, acceptance, or even joy. But it’s essential to ask the right questions to find meaning without slipping into unhelpful spirals.
The Power of “What” Questions
Asking “What” instead of “Why” is a simple shift that can open the door to clarity. Take the question, “What can I learn from this experience?” for example. When something painful or unexpected happens, this question invites you to shift your focus from frustration to growth. Maybe you discover a deeper patience you didn’t know you had, or perhaps you realize how important it is to set firmer boundaries. Even in small ways, finding something to learn helps give purpose to life’s challenges, allowing the brain to settle and move forward.
Another helpful question is, “What do I need right now to feel more at peace?” Life can feel chaotic, and this question gently brings you back to the present moment. It encourages you to pause and ask your Self what would help you feel more grounded. Maybe you realize that what you need is a moment of rest, a conversation with someone you trust, or a walk to clear your mind. By focusing on your immediate needs, you can take action in ways that calm your mind, replacing mental noise with meaningful Self care.
Then there’s the question, “What is the best thing I can do moving forward?” This question encourages you to let go of replaying the past and instead look toward what’s possible next. It invites reflection on how you can respond, whether that means making amends, embracing an opportunity, or simply choosing to let something go. In doing so, you shift from trying to control what’s already happened to finding peace in what you can do now.
Meaning Brings Calm to the Mind
Your brain will always search for meaning—it’s wired that way. But finding meaning doesn’t require answering every “Why.” When you ask “What” questions, you give your mind a gentler path forward, focusing on understanding, Self compassion, and action. The peace you’re searching for isn’t found by analyzing the past; it’s discovered in how you choose to respond in the present.
Meaning isn’t about controlling life’s events—it’s about choosing how you frame them. When you shift your focus to what you can learn, what you need, or what you can do, your mind relaxes, and life becomes more manageable. Instead of spiraling into endless thought loops, you find clarity, direction, and calm—a way of making sense of it all, one meaningful step at a time.